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Wired: Holter Monitor

This morning, I went to the Heart Hospital to get attached to my Holter heart monitor. I have decided that I got attached to it instead of it getting attached to me. Once you get it on, it pretty much runs your life.

Sure, you can go about your normal activities with it on, but it’s right there annoying you every step of the way. You can do anything except take a bath or shower. But everything you do takes more effort.

The Details

So I have seven electrodes stuck to my chest. Each of them has a couple feet of wire that goes to it. They are each color-codes so that if they come off (!!!!) you can reattach yourself. They gave me a diagram that shows where each color should go. Thanks, I say.

So I’ve got the seven wires that all attach to a recorder box the size of a deck of cards that I can put in my pocket or maybe wear it on my belt. And that recorder has another few feet of cord that also gets stuffed into my pocket.

The extra cording attached to the recorder comes in handy when doing things like going to the bathroom. I won’t explain but trust me on this.

But what about all the wires attached to the electrodes? Well, the lady (girl) who hooked me up asked me what I wanted her to do with all the excess. This question sort of took me by surprise because I expected that sort of thing would be decided for me in this situation.

After several seconds of me staring blankly ahead, the girl suggested that I might stuff all the wires into my pants (!!!!!) or maybe she could tape them to my abdomen. Okay, fine, option 2 please.

It actually is a lot less intimidating with everything taped up and out of the way. I thanked her for the suggestion.

The recorder has a button on the side that I am supposed to press when I feel my heart skipping beats or if I have chest pains or nausea or anything out of the ordinary. And if I press the button I have to write down what I was doing at the time and any further explanation about my symptoms.

So far today, I think I have pressed the button about 14 times. Good times.

A Funny From The Waiting Room

So I was a little uncomfortable in the waiting room at the Heart Hospital. I was the only person under the age of 60 I am sure. I had to fill out some paperwork so I sat down in a section of maybe 8-10 chairs that had no people in them.

So I’m sitting there filling out my papers and this old guy sits down right next to me. And I can just feel him looking over my shoulder at my forms. I gave him the evil eye. Ha! He didn’t really stop but I felt better.

So not two minutes later another old guy comes up and sits on the other side of me. Helloooo? See all those empty chairs over there? Those are for you!


Anyway … I get to wear this contraption until Wednesday. Then I get to unhook myself and take the device back to the Heart Hospital at my convenience. I go next week to meet with the doctor and get my results.

I’m praying that this test will clearly show the doctor what’s going on and what needs to be done.